Well it happened… my fuck buddy messaged me and begged me to
come over (literally). I messaged back asking whether his feelings had changed, the
fact that I didn’t want to lead him on. He asked whether I had missed him which
I truthfully replied in the affirmative. He said he just wanted me to be
comfortable and that whatever happens he still wants to remain friends. I
confess that I had butterflies in my stomach when I got his message.
After all my talk of not being cruel, evil and nasty – I granted
his request and drove over with a smile on my face. As I said before I’m a
little head strong. My gaggle was completely against the idea of me seeing my
fuck buddy again. They were concerned that I would fall deeper in love with him
and him fall deeper in love with me. One of my overseas gaggle asked the
question that if I was in love with my fuck buddy then why not see if it could
work… This line of reasoning I think is dangerous territory. First off one of
my key requirements in a potential mate is a non-smoker and a non-alcoholic –
he was both of these. I have to keep my
head above water and think with my big head rather than my little head –
otherwise I could get sucked into a relationship which I should not have got
sucked into. I acknowledge that I have already sunk in knee deep as I have
fallen in love with him.
I can’t explain the immense satisfaction that I get when I
am in his arms. The feeling of safety, the warmth, the love that I get from him
sends me crazy (its like a drug).
I know that it is going to end badly, I know that my actions
are speaking louder than my words, I know that some people would think its cruel
that I continue to see him knowing how he feels about me. However, we are both
adults, we know how each other feels, I have made it crystal clear to my fuck buddy.
He told me he was upset that I hadn’t contacted him all
through the week, it apparently took all his reserves not to message me. I
merely replied that I was following what
he had wanted – he wanted space and I gave him space. I said he was in control
of when he wanted to see me again as he was the one that had the feelings.
I know that my actions in seeing him and continuing ‘cuddle
time’ is showing my fuck buddy that I had feelings for him… it was plainly
obvious to his neighbour that I had developed feelings for him as he had
commented numerous times that me and him had a connection and that my fuck
buddy was a great guy.
So where am I off to tonight I hear you ask? – I can sense
the groans coming from my readers – I’m a little ashamed but hey I’ve told you
the chocolate milkshake story so there no holding back now – I’m off to my fuck
buddy’s…
No comments:
Post a Comment