Chefette update – The switch was not flicked - HE LIVES!

It has taken chefette over 4 days to respond to my text message. During this time, I had seen him login to MANHUNT. He messaged saying that he has now got mobile credit and was wondering how I was going. I replied to him thanking him for the message but saying I was not interested in catching up with him again, I wished him all the best in whatever he is looking for. I had sent this message just before I was going to my fuck buddy’s for the fifth consecutive night.

He replied about 15 minutes later (when I was at my fuck buddy’s house) asking why? I said that I am not interested in the chase, that I had lost interest and that I had expected a return call from my calls on Friday and definitely expected a return SMS for my message on Monday. I also indicated that I had seen him login to MANHUNT. I said I was not clingy but expected a reasonable amount of return communication.

He obviously didn’t understand where I was coming from, he was surprised that I could just suddenly change and that I was the first person he texted after he got mobile credit. He was accusing me of overreacting as he said that I knew he had no credit. He said that we should be mates at least. As I was at my fuck buddy’s I couldn’t instantly reply to his messages. He then tried to call me, but I booted him off to voicemail. One cannot have a conversation about communication with a guy in front of a fuck buddy (especially as this was to be the night where my fuck buddy opened up his feelings toward me). My fuck buddy was also feeling a little jealous that I was texting someone on my phone.

I texted chefette and said that I was at a dinner party, that I wasn’t ignoring him and that I would return his call tomorrow. When I called him the next day, we arranged to meet up at his place.

From my point of view, I don’t understand how someone can be so uncommunicative after a 20+ hour date. Chefette obviously had time to login to MANHUNT and continue his search for eligible bachelors. I am not upset that he has continued to source dates and chat with guys on MANHUNT, I was disappointed that he made the time to login to a site but not give me the time of day in responding to a SMS. I mean there are online sites that allow you to send FREE SMS…

After discussing these developments with one of my gaggle overseas, she made the point that not all people are communicative and have the same expectations as others. This does not show that the other person is not interested, rather that they don’t feel the need to return the communication. She recalled my words to her when a friend of hers didn’t give a wedding gift to her. The friend has MC’d at the night but had not provided a wedding gift. She was deeply upset as she considered him a good friend and felt like he didn’t feel the same way about her. I had said that maybe he thought that MC’ing the night was his gift to her. I asked the question whether she valued her friendship with him more than a wedding gift. When taken in this context, she agreed that she valued the friendship more than a material gift. She wanted me to know that some people have different views on communication. I take the moral of the story (after all I was the person that said it!), but this still doesn’t excuse how his lack of communication has made me feel.

It seems like I’m stuck in another situation where I have to define my feelings very early on in the dating situation (after the 3^rd date). My own expectations are that if you like someone that much you would try and do everything in your capacity to return communication.

We shall see whether the talk tonight calms by feelings…