Friday 1 July 2011

Its going too fast – the unsatisfactory conclusion to Mister A

When I got to work on the Monday I called a meeting of my gaggle of females to debrief on the weekend and certain actions of Mister A caused some concern.

There was the smoking. He had taken a significant step backward. I was not going to lower my standards and date a smoker (apologies for those that smoke J - I just can’t tolerate the smell and the breathe). However it was not only that, it was the snappiness that caused the most consternation. I felt like he resented me for being a non-smoker. His manner after his outburst was just far too chilly for my liking.

My gaggle suggested that meeting both the parents on the weekend was just simply too much and that he was just adjusting to it. My gut feeling suggested that he was pulling away. This was confirmed when he failed to text me the usual good night message (both on the Sunday night and the Monday night). Also his response to my text messages was slow to say the least (30 minutes minimum). I was confused I initially though that I was reading too much into it but my gut was saying something entirely different.

Mid week he came to dinner again, the instant he got inside my house, he said he had drove a long way and asked that he be permitted to have a cigarette and said that I hope I don’t mind. It felt like a sullen child asking their mother for a lollypop. He expected that I would say yes. I said the only thing I could say that :he is an adult and can make his own decisions. That I was not going to be his mother and continually nag him. So he walked outside and had a smoke. Meanwhile I was fuming internally that he had the gall to ask permission for a smoke knowing that I hated it.

My gut feeling was going into overdrive. My gaggle tried to calm me down by saying that he wouldn’t have let me meet his parents if he wasn’t into me. How wrong they were…

The unresponsiveness of his SMS was setting my teeth on edge. However, he agreed for me to come over on the weekend to watch a DVD and have pizza. I could sense that he was pulling away as there was not the usual kissing and chat when I was over there. He wasn’t hostile he just wasn’t his normal affectionate self… something was brewing and I could feel it…

So rather than stay the night I drove home. The next morning I received a text from him… he said that we were moving too fast and he felt like we had lost the connection we previously had during the first couple of weeks. He apologised for the dump via text but his conclusion was only crystallised after a sleepless night. He stated that I should have noticed that he was becoming distant.

WTF! -----

1)      He was the one that was moving too fast – he was the one that motivated the whole meeting the parents weekend.

2)      He was the one that was growing distant – so of course the connection we had during the first couple of weeks were lowered due to his actions.

3)      Dumping via text evidenced that he was emotionally immature and couldn’t have a true face to face conversation like an adult, he needed to hide behind a computer screen to show his true feelings (e.g. he was gutless)

My gaggle was appropriately horrified about the text. They couldn’t believe that Mr Perfect had turned into Mr Shit so quickly. It was then I hesitantly let out a small “told you so” which referred to my gut instinct as to what was occurring.

… that text message was not the last that I would receive from Mister A…

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