Friday 1 July 2011

My Fuck Buddy has developed a man crush


Well, I apologise again for my break in the chronology of my posts, but again I can’t possibly wait to fit it into the timeline. It has been 24 hours after my one night in heaven with my fuck buddy (or what I thought was a fuck buddy). I had sent him a message in the morning saying that the night was amazing and I promised to catch up again soon. This was only polite and I wanted to confirm my enthusiasm for the massage he gave and the great time I had.

I had just finished an exercise class and received a message asking how my day went. I responded saying my day went well and was productive at work. I asked how his day off was (yes – he certainly got more sleep than me). He said it was great and was just chillin. The messages then took a turn for the worse…

In his next message my new fuck buddy invited me to a barbeque for Saturday lunch with his straight mates. My gut was grumbling merrily away. I strongly believe my gut has a mind of its own. It seemed delighted that it was right again and was telling me “I told you so.” For those of you unaware of the rules of having a fuck buddy, one does not invite their fuck buddy to meet their friends… my fuck buddy was developing strings.

So I asked the question... how would he introduce me and what we have been doing? It was a sly way of asking him to define the relationship. He said that his mates were cool and he would just introduce me as a mate. I hesitantly said that I was a little uncomfortable given that we had only had two ‘meets’ so far. This was a very bad move…

I got an aggressive message in reply asking is that the way I saw him, as only a ‘meet’.  He had developed strings big time. He said that he obviously got me wrong and then closed by saying that he hopes that I find what I’m looking for. My fuck buddy had turned sour. The worst thing was that he had blocked me and thus couldn’t message him online to explain myself.

I wanted to see him again, talk about how he saw what we had. Maybe I could salvage this and have a mates with benefits arrangement. For those of you not in the know, a fuck buddy is all about the sex, regular ‘fuck and go’s. A mates with benefits arrangement is more about developing mateship with sex thrown in on the side. It is a subtle difference but one of paramount importance.

I remembered that I had his mobile number and SMSed him apologising for using the wrong word to define what we had. I said that if I just wanted a ‘fuck and go’ I wouldn’t have gotten under the covers with him. I said at the end that this is the first and last message, I was not going to chase him. If he wanted to see me again then I left it in his court as to whether he wanted to reply to my message and re-establish contact. I went to bed with my mind in overdrive – he hadn’t replied in over an hour.

In hindsight, I don’t see how he could have developed such an attachment so quickly. I suppose I can't blame him I am a good catch ;). But to be honest we had simply fucked twice. Sure we had a snuggle at the second meet but a snuggle does not equal a relationship. We had only discussed each other’s work, we hadn’t discussed family or our interests, and what music or movies we liked. These matters constitute essential information to work out whether we could successful be mates. It would appear that I need to define my relationships quite early so that both parties understands what each other expect. But who would have guessed that one needs to define a relationship after only two fucks?

I woke up today and had received a message he said don’t ever refer to what we had as a ‘meet.’ He didn’t say anything else, it was short and to the point. So we will wait and see whether I can salvage this and experience another night in heaven…

My gut is grumbling as I write this blog entry, I think it is telling me that a mates with benefits arrangement is not possible with this guy… we shall see…

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