Well, I apologise again for my break in the chronology of my
posts, but again I can’t possibly wait to fit it into the timeline. It has been
24 hours after my one night in heaven with my fuck buddy (or what I thought was
a fuck buddy). I had sent him a message in the morning saying that the night
was amazing and I promised to catch up again soon. This was only polite and I wanted
to confirm my enthusiasm for the massage he gave and the great time I had.
I had just finished an exercise class and received a message
asking how my day went. I responded saying my day went well and was productive
at work. I asked how his day off was (yes – he certainly got more sleep than
me). He said it was great and was just chillin. The messages then took a turn
for the worse…
In his next message my new fuck buddy invited me to a
barbeque for Saturday lunch with his straight mates. My gut was grumbling
merrily away. I strongly believe my gut has a mind of its own. It seemed delighted
that it was right again and was telling me “I told you so.” For those of you unaware
of the rules of having a fuck buddy, one does not invite their fuck buddy to
meet their friends… my fuck buddy was developing strings.
So I asked the question... how would he introduce me and
what we have been doing? It was a sly way of asking him to define the
relationship. He said that his mates were cool and he would just introduce me
as a mate. I hesitantly said that I was a little uncomfortable given that we
had only had two ‘meets’ so far. This was a very bad move…
I got an aggressive message in reply asking is that the way
I saw him, as only a ‘meet’. He had
developed strings big time. He said that he obviously got me wrong and then
closed by saying that he hopes that I find what I’m looking for. My fuck buddy
had turned sour. The worst thing was that he had blocked me and thus couldn’t
message him online to explain myself.
I wanted to see him again, talk about how he saw what we
had. Maybe I could salvage this and have a mates with benefits arrangement. For
those of you not in the know, a fuck buddy is all about the sex, regular ‘fuck
and go’s. A mates with benefits arrangement is more about developing mateship
with sex thrown in on the side. It is a subtle difference but one of paramount
importance.
I remembered that I had his mobile number and SMSed him
apologising for using the wrong word to define what we had. I said that if I
just wanted a ‘fuck and go’ I wouldn’t have gotten under the covers with him. I
said at the end that this is the first and last message, I was not going to
chase him. If he wanted to see me again then I left it in his court as to
whether he wanted to reply to my message and re-establish contact. I went to
bed with my mind in overdrive – he hadn’t replied in over an hour.
In hindsight, I don’t see how he could have developed such
an attachment so quickly. I suppose I can't blame him I am a good catch ;). But to be honest we had simply fucked twice. Sure we had
a snuggle at the second meet but a snuggle does not equal a relationship. We
had only discussed each other’s work, we hadn’t discussed family or our
interests, and what music or movies we liked. These matters constitute
essential information to work out whether we could successful be mates. It
would appear that I need to define my relationships quite early so that both
parties understands what each other expect. But who would have guessed that one
needs to define a relationship after only two fucks?
I woke up today and had received a message he said don’t ever
refer to what we had as a ‘meet.’ He didn’t say anything else, it was short and
to the point. So we will wait and see whether I can salvage this and experience
another night in heaven…
My gut is grumbling as I write this blog entry, I think it
is telling me that a mates with benefits arrangement is not possible with this
guy… we shall see…
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