Fuck buddy Developments – has the relationship been defined?

I apologise to my avid blog readers, a lot has passed over the four days since my last post. For one I have met my fuck buddy twice, second I went on a date with a hot young guy followed by a fuck with a divinely sculptured cyclist. This post will cover developments with my fuck buddy. Do not be dismayed, the date and fuck will be covered in my next post… so much to write but so little time.

So on Saturday, my fuck buddy invited me to dinner and to watch some movies. In the afternoon he texted to see whether a neighbour of his could also joined us. I replied ‘of course’ (you may recall my fuck buddy being upset about my last response to a friend invite).

Throughout dinner, it was apparent to me that his neighbour thought that we had something more going on between us. This was demonstrated through his knowing smile and the glint in his eye.

The dinner was divine. He was an exceptional cook (big tick in the box). It was a three course meal suitable for a King or in my case a Queen.

We watched some movies while snuggling on the couch. I honestly felt at the time that life couldn’t get any better. I was in the arms of a sexy man, who was a great kisser, great cook, very fit and had a gorgeous cheeky grin. Unfortunately I had something on in the morning so couldn’t stay the night. That night we didn’t have sex, but I hadn’t felt that connected to a guy for absolutely ages.

Well that brings me to my second night with my fuck buddy. He again invited me over for dinner and to watch True Blood (yes the vampire series – I am a self-confessed addict for all things True blood! Team Eric all the way).  Dinner was again exceptional it was simple and tasty.

Halfway through dinner his neighbour again visited his place. He stayed for about two hours that night. All the while I just wanted him to get out of the chair and to leave. How dare he impact on my cuddle time watching True Blood!

It was then he dropped the ‘love’ word. I can’t recall exactly what he said, he may have said he could easily fall in love with me or that I was lovable. In any case, I took it as him having deeper feelings for me than I had first thought.  This was to be confirmed through a question that he asked later at night.

I was a little tired after his neighbour left, I actually fell asleep halfway through watching  True Blood (I know I know – it tantamount to blasphemy). I woke up a couple of times only to find my fuck buddy smiling at me, he gave me a deep kiss every time I woke up. It felt great.

It was after the tv show that he asked a strange question. He asked whether I had been with any other guys recently. I tried to side step the question and asked why he was asking that question. He pushed and pressed me into responding to his question. I gave him the truth and said yes that I have fucked another guy the week before. His response was unexpected.

He said that he can’t believe I had responded to the question. He said he was not happy at me having fucked another guy. He even went so far as to say he was feeling sick. He went all silent for about 5 to 10 minutes. He was just holding me in his arms tighter and breathing shallowly. I could sense him trying to process what had just occurred.

After a while I asked why he thought we were exclusive as we hadn’t discussed it. Also about a week later he had responded to one of my anonymous posts on craigslist for a fuck (a post on my craigslist experience will follow). So I said that he was giving the impression that he too was fucking around. He said that he had not fucked since the last time we were together. I question whether this was in fact the case.

I also repeated what he said the first time we had met, that he valued honesty. So I commented that I am being completely honest with him, I could have said an untruth but I didn’t as I respected him enough to not lie.

I asked him whether he wanted me to leave. He said no and wanted me to stay the night. I don’t know when I fell asleep but I woke up with a dead arm in the arms of my fuck buddy. I woke him and dragged him to his bed where we fell asleep spooning (me being little spoon, him being big spoon). That morning we gave each other blowjobs (it was a nice early morning release). Unfortunately I had ignored my alarm and it made me an hour late to work... oops

During the writing of this post, I got an SMS from him saying that he was silly and stupid to ever think he could have a relationship with him. I replied that he should never call himself silly and stupid and that we should discuss how we feel about each other. So he has invited me to dinner and movies on Friday night. I can honestly say I am looking forward to being with him again.

Today. one of my long distance gaggle has made me admit that I have feelings for my fuck buddy. She has earned the nickname “Ms Wicked”. I do have feelings for my fuck buddy. But after being in a long term relationship, I am reluctant to acknowledge these feelings as I don’t want to hurt myself or hurt another person.

I’ve always said I wouldn’t date a smoker. But alas I was considering exploring a relationship with my fuck buddy who smoked a pack a day. He also didn’t fit all my criteria for boyfriend material. Thus I have severe reservations about accepting my feelings for him. Time will tell I suppose.