The Gamble – I won the Lottery – One night in Heaven - My First Fuck Buddy

The Gamble – I won the Lottery – One night in Heaven

I begin writing this blog entry with only 4 hours sleep. The reason for this is a 3 hour long session that happened last night that was so mind blowing that I must put pen to paper now and share the evening with my regular readers. Apologies for the break in the chronology of my posts but I’m sure you’ll agree that this post needed to be told ASAP.

Well it started about one and a half weeks ago. A cute guy on Manhunt had released his private pics and sent me a pic. We got chatting and negotiated the meet, I would travel to his place. I must say his pics looked hot, he had a small goatie, was tanned, an athletic build, was a surfie and tradie (everything I ever wanted in a late night hookup or a regular fuck buddy). If only he lived up to my expectations!

When I arrived I could see he had taken something, he offered me a chair and poured me some fruity wine (from a goon bag, I quickly unticks the cultured box). We got chatting and he confessed that he had already drunk half the bag and was drunk. He was slightly slurring his speech and was staggering around a little. So I indicated that we should go the bedroom (at this point I would like to say that I do have standards and felt he was compos enough to consent to a fuck – when one is horny and is offered a fuck, one does not decline).

The sex was less than thrilling it was like it was his first hookup. He just said “What do you want me to do?”. So we did a little oral, and then got down to the business of fucking. However, it soon became apparent that he hadn’t bottomed in a while, he kept on pulling away. I also felt that he didn’t like kissing, as when I initially went in for pash he pulled away (I’m a good kisser and need a good Pash to really get my juices flowing). It felt like everytime that I got the rhythm and got close to climax, he would pull away and I would lose it. In the end, he said that my size was too big and offered to suck me off instead. I must admit that oral does bore me… needless to say I didn’t climax that night.

Well after the events of that night, I texted by BFF and said “Worst Fuck Ever” and proceeded to tell him all the sordid details. I was adamant that I would not be revisiting this guy. How wrong I was…

He continued to text me four times over the next one and a half weeks. I was feeling very horny last night having had a hookup pike on me (one of those that is all talk and then when it comes to providing their address gets scared and runs away with their flaccid cock in between their legs).

I decided that I could go to bed or take a gamble and see what he was like sober. At this stage I think it is important to note that I was agreeing to the hookup entirely for the benefit of my readers, I had to give the guy a second chance (my horniness had nothing to do with it).

I had an OMFG night (‘Oh My Fucken God’). He was a little tipsy but nowhere near the drunkenness of the night before. He was more comfortable this time. And he definitely got into the swing of things. The first fuck (yes there was more than one) was fantastic, he was a power bottom and it showed (a power bottom is a guy who is very active when he bottoms rather than making the top do all the work). He wanted a second go but I needed a little breather between fucks.

We began chatting and it because apparent that he was not only a tradie, but a trained masseust! He offered me a massage which I vigorously accepted without question. The massage was like nothing I had before, it was sensual, relaxing and titillating. This hunk of spunk masculine tradie was giving me the massage of my life.

We got onto the subject of why we had messaged each other. He said that I was “fucken hot” (these were his words, not mine, I expressly disclaim any poetic licence). I said much the same thing. We then discussed what we thought of each other during the first meet.

It became apparent that he had a fantasy image of me. He described me as a masculine bisexual who was married with two kids. How wrong he was, he was shocked that I was totally gay and my cock had never touched vagina (yes I know that I was born from my mothers vagina, but that admission appears awkward in this blog…). My BFF actually doubts my masculinity but the fact that this tradie was describing me as masculine was affirmation of my manliness, my studliness.

He found out he was gay in his late twenties after an eight year relationship with a women. We both agreed not to continue this subject and ruin our fantasy image of each other.

We then commenced our second fuck… it was better than the first because we were both relaxed and in the moment. I pity the couple who were trying to sleep in the other villa (there was a common wall – I could hear them turning on and off the shower to try and communicate to us to shut up!). We both climaxed at the same time.

He invited me under the covers and we snuggled each other for the next thirty minutes telling each other how good it was and agreeing to a regular hookup. I wholeheartedly agreed – my gamble had paid off and I had won the lottery – I had found myself my first fuck buddy…

Now whilst we were snuggling each other, I must admit that it felt totally hot to be in the arms of a tradie. However, the topic of discussion soon turned to relationships. He had never had a relationship with a guy before while I had the opposite – a long term relationship. I have a fairly good gut instinct and my gut instinct was telling me that my fuck buddy may be developing a man crush. This made me feel uneasy as he is not what I consider relationship material, but he was the perfect fuck buddy. I do plan on hooking up with him again. I will of course update my devoted readers on the developments of my first fuck buddy…

From the Desk of the BubblyBlonde - The Facebook Stalker

I was talking with BubblyBlonde today, part of my gaggle of blondes. She was bemoaning the fact that nothing interesting happened to her and thus she would have nothing to write about if she started a blog. I knew this to be false so asked her to think of a memorable story and put it in writing... this is the result (with just a tad of drama thrown in).

Bubblyblonde had separated from her ex-boyfriend. She was not taking it well as she had just purchased a house with her ex-boyfriend. Her ex-boyfriend planned on buying her out of the house. She had moved in with her parents, but had some of her belongings still in the house.

The ex-boyfriend messaged her one day and requested (was more like a demand) to remove the remainder of her things from the home. The reason for this is that a friend of the ex was moving in (how bloody rude!). She was living with her parents, paying half the mortgage and he was letting a friend move in to her home!

So she called her trusty brother and borrowed his Hilux ute. She drove to the trailer hire place and walked in to fill out the paper work to hire a trailer and pay the bond. The guy at the counter was average looking, seemed completely normal, she was getting no vibe that he was interested in her. She handed over my licence and he filled out the paperwork.

She went to pickup my belongings. Its at this stage she admits that she wanted to make her ex-boyfriend a little jealous. To achieve this she glammed and sparkled herself - she looked stunning.

She returned 2 hours later to return the trailer and the first guy served her again. He was STILL completely normal, didn't seem keen and served her as if he was serving a bloke.

BUT - when she arrives home, she notices she received a notification that someone had added her on facebook. She didn't know the name so she looked up the profile only to find that the guy that had served her had added her to Facebook!

This was alarming to say the least. The guy had her licence details, phone number, address and knew what she looked like. She ignored the friend request and panicked for the next couple of days thinking that he would try alternative means of contacting her. Thank goodness that he got the hint and didn't try and contact her again.

I really can't blame the guy she is sweet, stunningly beautiful and completely innocent. This is not the first time that the bubblyblonde has had a stalking experience (yes the bubblyblonde has more to tell)...

It just goes to show that you not only need to be vigilant in who you are providing details to when dating online. Apparently you also need to watch out for real life stalkers who can legally access your information and then seek to contact you online. I am yet to believe that this is a good development...

Meeting the Parents - Mister A - Rebound Relationship #1

As I was just out of a long term relationship I was very cautious that I wanted to go slow and not rush into things. I wanted to avoid hurting my own and/or anyone else’s feelings. However, all that seemed to go out the window as I was sucked into the world that was Mister A and into my first rebound relationship (it is with reluctance that I call it a relationship as we didn’t ‘define’ what we had, all I know is it was way more than casual dating).

In hindsight, I think the speed of the relationship was established on the first weekend. He was going to a friend’s party and invited me along. He described the party as very informal. How wrong he was, he failed to say that the party was for about 50 people AND that his brother would be there (YES I hear you gasp, I was to meet some of his friends and one of his family on the first weekend – it was only the third date).

His brother was a typical slightly homophobic guy who was all mumbles when you talked to him and constantly shifted in his shoes. I felt the consternation the brother was feeling about meeting a guy that his brother was involved with. By way of side point, I was introduced as a ‘friend.’

The relationship ticked on nicely, UNTIL... I received a text message from him saying that his mother had invited me to dinner (this was only 5 weeks after the first date). I quickly got on the phone with him and bombarded him with the twenty questions. What have you said about me? How much does she know? What is the occasion? What is she like?

I was freaking out a little, meeting the parents within the first two months seemed slightly fast (okay it was like going down that first hill on a roller coaster, the woosh and the rush of adrenalin which sends tingling sensations right through your whole body to your fingertips and toes). I had to discuss this turn of events with my gaggle of females.

The general consensus was “WTF.” I began to question my acceptance of the invite. To me meeting the parents was a bigger event than I thought and had huge significance to many people. My thoughts were just simply that he wanted me to meet the people involved in his life (my first naïve moment). I wasn’t really nervous about meeting his parents as I am one of those guys that mothers instantly love. It was more what he thought of the meaning and significance behind the meeting that disturbed me.

My gaggle of females said that it was a step in defining the relationship. It was an affirmation that he felt that I was worthy of meeting his parents and that he could see a long term future with me. Maybe it was my upbringing that caused me to view the parent meeting as insignificant.

Then came the question of when he would see my parents. We had already talked about my fanatical religious parents. I reiterated that my parents only tolerated my sexuality - they certainly do not embrace it or allow any references to it when I’m at home.

I reluctantly agreed to telephone my parents to enquire whether I could have a friend over for lunch. If they agreed we would be meeting both of our parents on the same weekend. My mother surprisingly accepted without too much fuss. So in the end he was to meet my parents first and then I would meet his parents.

Both meetings were very pleasant. My mother and father behaved themselves and actually conversed with my ‘friend’ and my mother commented that he was such a lovely man.

His mother and father were equally well behaved I was actually imagining how well I could slip into this family unit (big mistake – I was investing more into this relationship than I budgeted for). I could see myself growing attached to his mother and father. I could even see myself interacting with his slightly homophobic brother – who seemed quite relaxed in his family environment.

One thing I did notice that weekend is that he had started smoking again. I could smell it on his breath and in his clothes. He even took a sneaky cigarette by telling me he was going to the newsagent to get the paper. When he came back he snapped at me by angrily saying “I’ve had a smoke, okay.” He then also took a cigarette at his parent’s place.

… the fact that Mister A  had started smoking again was a sign of things to come...

My First Rebound Relationship - Mister A

It started with coffee at a hip café. The first date was just ‘okay’ the conversation seemed a little stunted but there were no awkward silent moments. He was older than me but good looking, appeared to have his head screwed on and owned his own place. The first date lasted about an hour and a half until we went our separate ways. He admitted that he was a smoker but was in the process of quitting (I can’t ever see myself dating a smoker but gave him the benefit of the doubt – first mistake). Based on this date, I didn’t see it going anywhere (I should have trusted by gut instinct – second mistake!).

I received a text from him the day after saying he enjoyed coffee and apologised for being tired as he had a huge night the night before. He wanted to arrange a dinner on Wednesday. At the time I was still living with my sister so any excuse to get out and about was vigorously accepted. Although I had no expectations that this was going anywhere.

The second date commenced by him picking me up from my sister’s place and we went to a local Italian restaurant. The conversation flowed better than the first date and we appeared to hit it off. We then strolled around town for about an hour, hopped in his car and walked along the beach (this second date was ticking all the right boxes).

Over the course of the next 4 weeks we were texting each other every day and meeting up for dinner at least twice a week and had some ‘fun’ along the way. I had begun to describe him as 'Mr Perfect' (third mistake - I was getting too emotionally attached after a short period of time).

... in the next instalments I’ll discuss meeting the parents, the feeling that he was pulling away and the totally unsatisfactory conclusion to this relationship.

My Gaggle of Blondes - The Perils of Online Dating

There are a few close friends at work who love discussing my dating exploits. Today, I went to lunch with two of my gaggle, both blondes, both crazy chicks and both totally lovable! It became apparent that one of my gaggle had missed out on my exploits about Grindr. I was shocked and appalled that I failed to reveal this crucial important aspect of my single life.

She herself was recently single and was moaning about the lack of talent in the straight talent pool. We then discussed Grindr, the ‘gay meat market’ as I affectionately call it. I told her about the concept of No Strings Attached (‘NSA’) and having a little ‘fun.’ She was instantly intrigued! I then revealed that there are straight sites out there and told her about the free site www.oasisactive.com.au. She instantly logged onto the website and created her profile.

The first question was her profile name, I suggested ‘sluttyblonde’ or a variant thereof. She was uncomfortable with this so we settled on ‘bubblyblonde.’ That afternoon the messages were coming in thick and fast, in a space of two hours a total of 30 guys had texted her and were wanting to know more about her (including what type of ‘fun’ she likes). She had accepted 15 chats in the space of an hour and was getting overwhelmed with both the directness of the guys messaging her and the amount of messages.

I was intrigued and asked to see her profile. The picture was very nice, she described herself to a tee and the picture was lovely!

BUT (if I could capitalise that BUT anymore I would…) she had unbeknownst made a rookie dating mistake. She had used a phrase under “What are you looking for” that resulted in the serious amount of attention given to her. Her response to this question was “nothing serious.”

Now I assume she meant that she wanted to get to know a few guys without the pressure of sex and the pressure of a long term relationship. Needless to say all the guys instantly assumed that she was after a bit of ‘fun.’ I was instantly amused and had the largest smirk on my face since I had my first orgasm. I explained the concept of “nothing serious” and suggested to her that it essentially means you want a bit of No Strings Fun (e.g. if you take the first letter of every word and add an A you get NSA- “No strings attached”). She was shocked that two words could suggest so much.

The final straw came when a guy messaged her and said “What is a nice girl like you doing on a place like this?” Now my blonde gal  is lovely sweet and completely innocent, so she was totally unprepared for the underworld of dating and the concept of ‘NSA’ and fun. The directness of some of the guys completely freaked her out!

It just goes to show that in the world of online dating you need to choose your words carefully, know what you want and give no indication you want something else. If you are unprepared for the level of directness and openness that anonymity gives to online dating then online dating may not be for you!

Confession of a Bitchy Queen

Yes I know I have not commenced telling you about my rebound relationship, but I have a confession to make today. Today my friendly demeanour gave way to the bitchiness inside. I am ashamed and deeply appalled (well a little anyway). So what happened? …

Got a message from an 18 year old Twinkie saying “Hey.” He also posted several comments on my pics such as “take off the towel” and “you’d look better with your shorts off.” Of course I was flattered as any gay guy would be.  I usually don’t chat to anyone below 25 as I just find them immature, childish and flippant (I should have maintained my view).

After checking his profile it became obvious that he was a serial tart and was posting comments on all pics of any guy that was good looking to some degree. I think you know the type, the guy that’s just got on a dating site thinking that everyone will think he is really cute and really nice.

It all went swimmingly well, we were flirting with each other. But then he started calling me ‘babe.’ Now I don’t know why that irritated me so much. No one had ever called me babe, not even the X. He was just getting too comfortable for someone that I had only just started chatting to. It felt wrong being called ‘babe’, I was a guy – I was masculine – I had a cock! Babe somehow felt reserved for effeminate fem and gals. So being direct I suggested that he stop calling me ‘babe’ as I felt like it should be reserved for women. We came to an agreement that ‘sexy stud’ would be my nickname.

As the day progressed he gradually got progressively more possessive in his chat language. He referred to me as “his man” and “his sexy stud.” I hadn’t seen his picture as yet (he promised to send it through later as he was online through a tablet computer without a camera), so just said that it is a little premature to describe me as ‘his.’

Then the final clincher came he said that I love you multiple times, he had even changed his profile status to <3 My Nickname (‘LOVE’). To be honest I should have taken it as it was intended just flirtatious banter. But after a lengthy long term relationship, for him to say I love you even in chat seemed childish and deeply wrong. So I said let’s face facts – we haven’t even met, I haven’t seen your pic – so you don’t love me – you just have a man crush.

He then fired up and yelled WHY ARE YOU SO ARGUMENTATIVE? To which I replied that he was immature, flippant, to grow up and to go back to school and learn a little English so he know the meaning of the words you are using. Yes my bitchiness had come out in full.

Did he deserve it? Undoubtedly no, he was just chatting in a way that he thought was appropriate for a dating site. He didn’t realise that you need to adopt your chatting style to the guy your targeting. If you’re chatting to a masculine guy – you don’t talk about how much you love Kylie and don’t call him ‘BABE’ (unless you 100% know that he listens to Kylie). If you’re talking to a fem guy – you don’t talk about how much you love your Holden SS Ute or watching Australian Rules Football (‘AFL’). If you talking to an educated guy – don’t assume that he will tolerate your inappropriate childish use of words.

My confession is at an end… in my next post will continue to blog about my rebound relationship.

My first Grindr Experience

The night that I broke up with my ex-partner I got back on the pony – I did not want to give my X the satisfaction that I continued to have feelings for him. I opened a Grindr profile and logged on… thus I was immersed in a world which was totally new and seductive – so many guys just a short drive away.

There were so many new terms as well – it was liked I had stepped into another country and had to learn another language – NSA, ‘FUN’, ‘TRAVEL’, ‘HOST’, ‘UFOs’. I was constantly amazed at how open everyone was - noting whether they were top, bottom, versatile, versatile with top preference and versatile with bottom preference.

I must admit the term NSA totally flummoxed me – so I asked GOD – I asked Google. So yes now I know No Strings Attached. The ‘strings’ of course being any emotional connections with the individual. Put simply, it is sex for the sake of sex. A more acceptable term was merely ‘fun’.

As I didn’t have a pic at the time I didn’t get too much traction from guys. And yes I am now the same way – faceless profiles or ppl which won’t provide pics are in the main butt ugly (that’s the nicest possible term), fat (bordering on obese), old (ancient). Thus was born the phrase no UFOs. Yes you might get the hunk of spunk who is not out and just wants discrete fun – but do you want to cast your line and snare a UFO?

I finally took a self photograph in a mirror with my iPhone (very classy). That night I chatted up a few people and arranged to meet for coffee. Yes I had (key word had) traditional values – my motto was no sex before coffee. Needless to say many Grindr veterans simply blocked or ignored my messages. My ego was sorely bruised – was it my pic? was I desperate?

After the initial 'Hey' - I got some confidence and I arranged to meet a few people for coffee (4 on the first weekend) – that weekend I met my first rebound relationship… lets call him "Mister A"

The 'X': ex-partner

Well it wouldn’t be a candid blog if I didn’t explain how I became recently single. The X was my first true relationship – it lasted a fair number of years after the seven year itch (yes an eternity in gay years). The X was caring, loving, honest, and I trusted him…. UNTIL

It all started when we got a new iPad and new iPhones (the gadget of the millennium). First off I found some dating websites in the browser history and then found multiple SMS from unknown numbers while he was working in another city where he provided his room number. He actually needed to ask one guy his name the next morning… (WTF!)

The X still to this day does not admit that anything happened. It was apparently just ‘chat.’

To be honest the relationship was on the rocks for a number of months prior, we kept on seeing the same circle of friends, weren’t going out and hadn’t travelled overseas for years. We were stuck in a rut. This was part of the X’s excuse to go out and ‘chat’ to guys when working in another city.

I went through the normal range of emotions, ranging

- from intense sadness at the loss of my best friend

- to denial that he would never do such a thing (of course there is a reasonable explanation)

- to betrayal

- to anger

- to hate

So the person who I had trusted the most, the person who I believed would never lie to me or cheat on me became the person I detested the most.

I stupidly agreed (my first of many mistakes) to continue living in our home and attend counselling sessions. The first counselling session was very confronting and my X subtly changed his story during the session. That night I gave the “I can’t do this anymore” speech – my emotional walls were blockaded and reinforced with titanium non slip coating - my rollercoaster of emotions running free inside.

I was clinical – I showed no emotion - I was detached – I was disassociated like a fly on a wall. I needed the refuge that my own mind would give me.

Needless to say my X’s emotions ran free, he was a bubbling mess. As I was still living at the home (yes my first mistake was continuing), I continued to be subjected to the emotional volcano that was my X. My walls survived the unrelenting lava flow, never once did I break down in front of my X. He of course interpreted this as me being heartless and not ever loving him, not ever caring about our relationship. In some sick twisted way – I felt like this was his just desserts for making me feel this way.

I endured for one week and then moved in with one of my siblings (my family is a large family). This was after being told via SMS to remove all by belongings with only 8 hours’ notice. At the time of writing this post – we are still settling financially thus the saga continues…

After telling him it was over, I felt free and no longer trapped in a loveless relationship.

- Do I feel guilty about being classed as the 'dumper'? Absolutely

- Should I feel guilty? probably not, given the history.

- Do I still have feelings for my X? to be honest a small part of me does still have feelings, you can't have a relationship for as long as we did without developing strong feelings of attachment.

- Am I better off after the separation? Yes and no - I know it sounds kinda strange, but I feel a more complete person not being in that relationship. I am able to make my own decisions, make my own mistakes and be in control of my life. So emotionally I am better off. However, the financial implications are devastating!

About Me

About Me


I hate this question – the inevitable “tell me about yourself?” is a loaded question that can’t be avoided in a dating situation.  Its tantamount to asking a used car salesman “tell me about the car”. It inevitably results in you selling yourself to your prospective date to ‘tick off boxes’ on his theoretical list of needs and wants from a partner.

I am by no means a used car (some may say different – those persons will be appropriately and severely bitch slapped and castrated if I do identify them). So here it goes…

I’m a male in my early thirties, live in an Australian capital city and yes I’m gay – I make love with men (big shock now calm yourself down – take deep breaths it’s a big revelation). You can imagine the reaction that my fanatical religious parents had when I came out to them as a homosexual (but all in due time – I have much to blog about).

I’m educated.  Now for some people this means simply completing Year 12. For my list of needs and wants it refers to someone who at least as gone that extra step and completed a technical college course or ideally has gone to University. I myself have a double degree (for those wondering one of them is not Arts….). And educated certainly does not mean that you are a Macdonald’s manager and completed their internal training (this date deserves a whole post by itself).

I’m genuine. I think this term is a little too well used in the dating arena. What is it that makes someone genuine? www.Dictionary.com defines genuine as “free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere”, pretense is further defined as “pretending, a false show of something.” So technically it means someone who is true to themselves and is not pretending to be someone they are not. I am me and I don’t give a rat’s arse what you think of me (but pul-lease like my blog LOL).

I’m masculine – by that I mean I am not effeminate – but I do have my moments when I glam it up. If I was walking down the street you wouldn’t pick me for gay (unless a super hottie was walking by and I was taking a second and third looksy – there are always exceptions!). I do lightly shape my eyebrows – there is nothing worse than a mono bush above the eyes. I do manscape – again nothing worse than a forest when you are going down on someone (clear felling a forest when performing oral is never a good thing – think pubes in mouth)

Now I suppose I should describe my looks, I am White/Caucasian about 6 feet tall and an average build verging on athletic (yes I am working on it). Some would say I’m a stud, some might just say easy on the eye, some may say average (no I am not putting up a pic so you can judge!), NEVER met anyone who said I was ugly (but again am waiting for the day that I commence the inevitable decline to old age). My cheeky sly grin is my best asset and I use it without abandon.

Now if you have gotten this far you are probably wondering why I’ve very vague in describing myself. The purpose of my blog is to provide a candid journal about my experiences with dating as a recently single gay man. I can’t be that candid if I can be identified – especially with some of the blogs I have planned!

And please I do not accept date requests on this blog… (do you really want me to publicise how I really feel about you and the date?).