My first random NSA hookup

Well it was a couple of days after I received the dumping text from  Mister A. It was late at night so I logged onto Grindr just wanting a chat. Then I got the message “horny?” I then scanned my body and came to the conclusion that it definitely needed to get a load off.

He was late twenties and in the next suburb. His photo was slightly obscured as the flash blocked out half of his face. I decided to reply with “Yes”. The negotiation began, who is hosting? Who is travelling? Top, bottom or versatile? An agreement was reached that I would host and he would be around in 30 minutes after having a shower.

This would be my first ever random hookup – NSA – no strings fun – blow and go. Needless to say I was extremely nervous, it was with trepidation that I had a shower and spunkified myself.

The wait was excruciating! As the minutes ticked by, my mind was on overdrive - what if his pic was of someone else? What if he was diseased? What if he was violent? The question i should have asked myself was whether he was clean...

After what seemed like half a day – I heard a car pull up and a knock on the door. I couldn’t chicken out now. When I saw his face I could clearly see why he used an obscured photo. To put it kindly he had dry skin that was pocketed with craters. He was by all accounts very average looking.

I invited him in and proceeded to show him my place (yes giggles giggles giggles – I was really nervous and really wasn’t sure how you ‘begin’ the fun - hey everyone has got to to start somewhere!). I finally showed him my bedroom and we proceeded to kiss and undress…

I must admit I’m a very good kisser and have received compliments on my kissing style. But when he put his lips around mine - his mouth tasted foul! He had obviously eaten Chinese for dinner and had not mouth rinsed. I could taste every spice especially the garlic. It was nearly as bad as kissing a smoker and tasting ash tray - but instead it was like second hand eating day old Chinese. I persevered through – mainly kissing his neck.

We both got our load off, we showered together and he was out the front door. The whole experience lasted about an hour.

Overall it was passionate sex but I require a certain level of personal hygiene. I expect someone to be clean, not smell of body odour, no ‘cheese’ and mouth fresh – IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK? The fact that he didn’t bother to attend to his oral hygiene was a big negative to me.

Did I block him on Grindr? No, I didn’t because I was bound to bump into him given that he lived in the next suburb. He did text twice after putting out the feelers for another session, I replied saying I was busy. He got the point and didn’t text again.

Hookup Rule #1 – Never ever eat garlic or spicy food when you know that you are intending to hookup later.

My first Grindr Experience

The night that I broke up with my ex-partner I got back on the pony – I did not want to give my X the satisfaction that I continued to have feelings for him. I opened a Grindr profile and logged on… thus I was immersed in a world which was totally new and seductive – so many guys just a short drive away.

There were so many new terms as well – it was liked I had stepped into another country and had to learn another language – NSA, ‘FUN’, ‘TRAVEL’, ‘HOST’, ‘UFOs’. I was constantly amazed at how open everyone was - noting whether they were top, bottom, versatile, versatile with top preference and versatile with bottom preference.

I must admit the term NSA totally flummoxed me – so I asked GOD – I asked Google. So yes now I know No Strings Attached. The ‘strings’ of course being any emotional connections with the individual. Put simply, it is sex for the sake of sex. A more acceptable term was merely ‘fun’.

As I didn’t have a pic at the time I didn’t get too much traction from guys. And yes I am now the same way – faceless profiles or ppl which won’t provide pics are in the main butt ugly (that’s the nicest possible term), fat (bordering on obese), old (ancient). Thus was born the phrase no UFOs. Yes you might get the hunk of spunk who is not out and just wants discrete fun – but do you want to cast your line and snare a UFO?

I finally took a self photograph in a mirror with my iPhone (very classy). That night I chatted up a few people and arranged to meet for coffee. Yes I had (key word had) traditional values – my motto was no sex before coffee. Needless to say many Grindr veterans simply blocked or ignored my messages. My ego was sorely bruised – was it my pic? was I desperate?

After the initial 'Hey' - I got some confidence and I arranged to meet a few people for coffee (4 on the first weekend) – that weekend I met my first rebound relationship… lets call him "Mister A"