Our building has a day and a night shift concierge. It came to pass that the usual day shift concierge was missing in action for a week. His replacement was a seemingly quiet, young Lebanese lad (be became to be known as Roofiello, you’ll soon learn why).
It was only about two days after Roofiello started, that our
bubblyblonde walked across the street to the nearest Newsagency. She knew the
guys there quite well as she usually organises a lotto syndicate for the people
at work. As she was leaving they offered her a Cadbury Crème Egg (she was
slim at the time so they obviously thought she needed a good feed!).
Our bubblyblonde wasn’t a fan of the Cadbury Cremes but
it was free and you can’t pass up a freebie! As she walked back into work, she
noticed that the usual concierge was standing at his desk talking with Roofiello.
He was on crutches and had broken his ankle in a motorcycle accident. She spoke
with him for a while before offering him the Cadbury Creme which she had
recently acquired. The usual concierge declined so she offered it to Roofiello
instead. She continued on her way, none the wiser to the fast growing seed which she had just
been planted.
The following day, as she walked into the office in the
morning, Roofiello caught her attention and beckoned her over to his desk. As
she approached, he held out a block of chocolate and offered it to her. She looked
at him confused and asked what it was for. To which he explained that he felt
he owed her for the Cadbury Crème. She didn't think anything of this, and
politely accepted the chocolate before making her way to the lifts.
When she walked past Roofiello going to lunch, he smiled
and waved at our bubblyblonde. Being polite (and perhaps a little gullible), she
smiled and waved back. The following morning, he beckoned her over again. This
time he had a 3-pack of Raffaello chocolates for her. She looked at him
confused, but accepted the chocolates as they were her favourite (again – one should
never pass up a freebie!).
Whenever he saw her he would smile and wave
enthusiastically. It began to sink in that Roofiello was starting to be a
little keen in the romantic department. The following day he again offered her Raffaello's.
This time she politely declined, and told him that he shouldn't buy her
chocolates. To which his response was "I just can't find anything as sweet
as you" (its at this point that you will probably rush to the toilet and have a good vomit - i know I did).
Our bubblyblonde was speechless (this is a rare event as
usually you can’t shut her up!). She just stood there, jaw dropped, looking at
him waiting for him to tell her he was joking. But it wasn't a joke, he wasn't
retracting his comment. She felt dirty and violated that a simple act of
accepting chocolate had led to him thinking that he had a connection with her.
She quickly nodded at him, turned and made a hasty beeline for the lifts. It
proved to be the longest wait for the lifts she had ever experienced, the whole
time he was standing at his desk watching her tapping her foot uncomfortably.
She immediately told one of the guys at work and before
long everyone at work had heard about her suspect encounter with the new temporary
concierge. Some joked that he was lacing the chocolates with Roofies so that he
could have his dirty way with her, hence the nickname "Roofiello".
Needless to say all her friends (including me) thought it was absolutely
hilarious. Our bubblyblonde required escorts whenever she had to walk past
Roofiello. The usual concierge returned 2 weeks later, but it was the longest,
most uncomfortable 2 weeks of her life!
So our bubblyblonde had learnt a valuable lesson –
receiving and giving freebies is a great thing only when there are no strings
attached…
At this point I might cheekily add that this statement
equally applies to sex – receiving and giving sex is a great thing only when
there are no strings attached… yes I know that is a broad sweeping statement –
it was only said tongue in cheek ;P (geez why does everyone take everything so seriously!)
