Lunch Time Date with a wet rag... Uninspiring - 2/5 on the Date Scale

Had a lunch time date today with a wet rag. He had messaged me on GRINDR and we got chatting. He seemed nice enough he was after mates and dates as was I.

From the outset he was very uninteresting, he was 27 had only had two relationships one six months and the other 2 years. It's a wonder that he achieved that long as he was like talking to a brick wall.

His conversation was stunted always expected me to lead the conversation. Which didnt work as everything I said he only responded with no more than a sentence.

He hadn't travelled overseas. He didn't have any plans for the weekend...

He had a double degree in Arts and Education. My regular readers will know what I think about guys having an Arts degree! Meeting this guy only proved my theory... People with Arts degrees have no spark and lack intelligence (jk).

So back to the drawing board I go... Trying to find that special someone which ticks most of the boxes. My fuck buddy is looking better and better as a potential partner (tongue in cheek).

My date with a nice educated guy… FAIL

When you start reading manhunt or grindr profiles, it soon becomes apparent that most of the profiles are superficial and concentrated on just one thing – SEX! Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining, manhunt is an excellent way to find a guy to get your load off with.

It was in this mindset that a guy messaged me on manhunt through the instant messenger. His tag contained the word ‘quality’. I of course looked up his profile before accepting the invitation. His profile ticked all the right boxes, he was athletic, educated, employed full-time in professional services, owned his own home, normal, genuine, sorted and he said he was good looking. The only thing was there was no picture, he said that this was due to what he did for work.

We got chatting and it confirmed his normalcy. We arranged to meet in the city over lunch at work. The tone of the conversation (I thought) was to get to know each other to scope a possible relationship.

When I saw him, he obviously did not have an athletic build. I don’t know any athlete that has a substantial beer belly and a double chin. I just don’t understand why people who are looking for a serious relationship would start off a relationship with a lie. We had an okay lunch, we talked about each other’s families, childhood, work etc. So we agreed that I would come over his place for drinks after work.

As we were departing to go to our respective workplaces, he did something that I was very uncomfortable with. He did a PDA (‘public display of affection’). It was a smooth brush over the shoulder that made my spine tingle. As discussed in my previous posts, I don’t appreciate PDAs. It is not that I am ashamed of being gay, quite the contrary I am very comfortable with my sexuality and discuss it openly at work and anyone who asks the relevant questions. It is a part of who I am. I think he was trying to say to me through touch that he liked what he saw…

We emailed each other to negotiate a good time for our drink.

The night of the meet, I rocked up at his place. He had some nibbles on the table and a good wine for drinking. The conversation flowed very well UNTIL he developed a sparkle in his eye and said whether I would like a neck massage…

I knew all too well what a neck massage would lead too. I politely declined and said I’m fine and made the comment that I generally don’t put out on dates. Only to be confronted with the realisation that he didn’t see this as a date. He questioned why I thought it was a date.

He then blatantly accused me of leading him on… he said well your profile reads as if you are up for a bit of fun as well… WTF! My meet obviously did not understand the difference between no strings fun and dating someone. If it was just no strings fun I would not have invested time in getting to know this guy. To tell you the truth, based on his appearance the first meet, I would not have even gone there. All my ticked boxes were wiped out in one foul swoop.

I wanted to get outta there as soon as possible. However we had drunk two bottles of red wine over the space of 3 hours. Being a one glass wonder, I was a little shaky on my feet. I stumbled to the door and tried to open the latch only for him to graciously open it for me. I was drunk and my car was in his driveway. I was not going to leave it there only to have to see him again. I drove off through the back streets. I was panicking for the whole 10 minutes on my drive home.

I cursed myself for getting into this predicament. I should not have consumed so much alcohol as to leave me vulnerable to the manipulations of a guy. I placed myself in a stupid situation which could have led to criminal charges for Driving under the Influence. I vowed that I would never go to a guy’s place and drink so much again!

So the moral of the story is never judge a guy by his profile (a take on never judge a book by the cover). The guy ticked all the right boxes in his profile but he clearly had a warped view on dating and how to build a relationship with a guy. For me a date does not mean I’m going to put out that night (I’m just a tad traditional in that regard). This has changed the way I negotiate with guys for a date, as an FYI I usually say that I don’t put out on my first date. Their response usually indicates whether we are of the same mindset…

And now for my second rule of dating/hook-ups - never drink so much alcohol that you can’t drive home at a moment’s notice.

The MacDonald’s Manager – One of the most uncomfortable dates I have ever experienced!

I found the ‘delightful’ Macdonald’s Manager on Grindr. He lived about 5kms away. We got chatting and we had a few things in common especially fanatical religious parents. His father was a Pastor and my father was equivalent to a Priest. We talked for about an hour on the phone and he seemed liked a genuine guy who enjoyed life.

We decided to go out for dinner and a movie at a local shopping centre. The only problem being that he didn’t have a car and used public transport. As the dashing handsome gentleman that I am I offered to pick him up from home (error of judgement #1).

As I drove down the street and saw my date on the side of the road, I queried why it was people put up different pictures to what they truly are. My date had a rather large beer belly and a shirt which did not leave anything to the imagination. His picture had obviously been taken prior to starting work at Maccas.

At that point I should have just cut my losses and offered my apologies that he wasn’t my type, instead I stopped and allowed him into the car (error of judgement #2).  Within 5 minutes the conversation took a turn for the worse. I was apparently using ‘big words’ that he didn’t understand and he said he was not ‘stupid’ but could I please stop using ‘big words’ that he could not understand as it was making him feel uncomfortable. Bless his little cotton socks! For me, any date potential was wiped clean and had gone into negative.

 We dined at a local Asian food place (not fancy) and proceeded to buy tickets to a movie. He continued to say how proud he was that he was a Macdonald’s manager, the training offered by Macdonald’s and the responsibilities of being a manager. Okay now call me a snob… as I am writing this post and reflecting on the date I feel uncomfortable the way I immediately judged him based on his lack of education. I should have been more positive that yes with the little education he did receive that he is making something with his life and was happy.

We sat at the back of the movie theatre (error of judgement #3). Let’s just say the movie sounded very B grade, however it was better than I expected but I had very low expectations. Throughout the movie he fondled my hand. I was giving the subtle signs of not reciprocating and shuffling around. I don’t think he had the insight to understand.

After the movie we were walking to the car through the car park. We were walking in front of a group of guys. It is important to note at this stage that we were in a lower socio-economic suburb (some may say Hicksville). What happened next further highlighted my date’s stupidity. He proceeded to slap my arse and give it a pinch! WTF. He laughed it off, meanwhile I was taking a very brisk walk to the car explaining to him the dangers of what he just did!

Now at this point I must say that I am definitely not one of these guys that like public displays of affection (‘PDAs’) – a slap on the arse was a definite no no in my books. Red carded and instant dismissal from the dating field.

So we got in my car (yes I had to drive him home). He clasped his hand around my thigh and proceeded to utter something to the effect that he really enjoyed the night and really thought we clicked and asked when he would see me again.  I would love to have a brief insight into the workings of his mind as to why he thought we clicked – it has me flummoxed to this day as to how he reached that conclusion.

I politely but firmly said that I was not going to see him again as he was not my type. He took a couple of seconds to swallow and process what I had just said. He clasped my thigh again and said those fateful words “why? What don’t you like about me?”

Why do people want to subject themselves to a list of things that another person doesn’t like about them? Now I could have spent 10 minutes or so telling him why he wasn’t my type. All I said was “let’s just leave it as you’re not my type.” Those 8 minutes driving him home were unpleasant. There was an icy silence throughout the journey I could hear him breathing shallowly with an ever so slight wheeze coming from his nose.

He hopped out of the car. He hadn’t given up on having some type of connection to me. He said that he was still open to mates if I was and to contact him.

Needless to say as soon as I got home I blocked him on Grindr and proceeded to add a note to my phone DO NOT ANSWER!

So I ask my blog readers… was I a snob?