It’s getting more complicated - Dinner and Movie Dates

I had been chatting to a guy on Manhunt for about a month or so, he was about 300kms away. He was keen on me coming down for a holiday and catching up. However, he seemed a little unresponsive at times, I would message him but he wouldn’t message back. It was about two months later that I received a text message from him saying he was in the city. I was excited to catchup with him so messaged back asking whether he was here permanently. He replied that it was only for a day. I enthusiastically said I was free that night if he was keen to catchup. I didn’t get a response. I then messaged on Manhunt, again no response. I messaged him once more just before leaving work, again no response.

I began to suspect he was a time waster. So I blocked him on Manhunt and never thought of it anymore. He earlier indicated that he was coming here permanently in August. So I unblocked him about 2 weeks ago thinking that I will give him the opportunity to explain himself if he messages me when his in Perth. About a week ago, I received a message from him just saying hey. I replied and said long time no hear and asked how he was doing. Again I received no response, although his stats said he had logged on and that the message was read.

I tried one more time in messaging him, I generally don’t chase my men as it gives the impression that your needy (I hate clingons!). His profile had been updated that he was now living in the city. So I replied back saying that it’s great that he was in the city and we should catchup. We chatted for a bit and arranged to meet for dinner and movies.

His photos didn’t do him justice, he had a boyish charm about him, a cheeky smile and was very good looking. He was mid to late twenties. He was a professional chef. The conversation flowed well as he was a talker and I kept on asking him questions to establish whether he was the guy for me. He didn’t seem to ask any questions of me, and when he did he didn’t probe further.

We watched the movie, it was kind of cute as he kept on getting snuggling closer to me throughout the movie. I just wanted to lean over and hold his hand, but as I have discussed before public displays of affections are a no no.

The movie finished and we went to our cars and shaked each other’s hands. On the way home I received a message from him that he enjoyed the night and that it was refreshing that it was not just about the sex - but he didn’t feel like I had talked enough. I cheekily replied that he hadn’t asked many questions.

I was exceptionally horny and toey after the date, so I logged on to Grindr. I received a message about 5 minutes after logging on from a 30 something cyclist, he was very toned and god damn scruffable. Needless to say he invited me over and we fucked like rabbits (full details in a XXX post to follow). I didn't get home until 2:00 o'clock so in the end only had 4 and a half hours sleep that night - I was falling asleep at my desk that day.

We texted a couple of times throughout the next couple of days and decided that we do another dinner and movies.

On our second date the conversation again flowed well, but still he didn’t ask probing questions. I felt like I was extracting all this information from him but felt he wasn’t really making any effort in trying to get to know me.

As we had finished dinner early we walked through a couple of shops. A salesman had approached us and asked whether we wanted any help. I could sense something as he held his gaze on me a little long but I just gave him a warm smile. My date then said no we don’t we are just browsing and waved him away. It was only after we left the shop that my date commented that the salesman was undressing me with his eyes. I was completely oblivious to this (truly - I am completely hopeless about cruising), but my date felt a little jealous and waved the guy away so he couldn’t look at me anymore. This made me feel a little special.

During the movie, he slipped his arm under mine and we held each other’s hands. It felt good skin on skin contact. I was relatively comfortable with this public display of affection as it was in a dark area. Thus one of my gaggle suggested the term DAPDA (‘dark area public display of affection’). I was comfortable with this DAPDA, it felt so right.

Later on we went for ice-cream, as we were looking at the different types he put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. While there was people around I felt comfortable as it was not a sleazy touch just a warm touch that a mate would give.

So after the movies we gave each other a hug. On the way home, I again received a message. We both said we enjoyed each others company. He then let slip that he had expected me to invite him to sleep over my place just for cuddles not sex. He also confessed that I had been his first date since his last boyfriend two years ago. He previously stated he was a traditional guy so I said that he definitely should have said something as I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression that I was just after sex. So I took the reins and invited him over for pizza and movies on the weekend.

I could see myself falling for this guy as we both had similar interests. The only thing was that I was having the talk with my fuck buddy about exclusivity the next night. Who ever said that single life was easy! At least with a relationship you only have to consider the emotional needs of one person. Being single you need to consider the needs of all your dates, your fuck buddies and your randoms. One of my gaggle cheekily suggested that I should do the double date thing and have two changes of clothes. I laughed that that only happens in the movies!

However, since writing my blog, I’m beginning to recognise that my life is interesting and a good story. My gaggle have described my blog as “Gay Sex in the City”. I think probably relate  more to Samantha than the other characters.

So I’m writing this post just before I head out to have the talk with my fuck buddy. I feel a little out of my depth as I seriously think that I relate more to my chefette than my fuck buddy. And my fuck buddy still smoked – strings would have to be detached if that was to continue.  It’s all getting very complicated…

The MacDonald’s Manager – One of the most uncomfortable dates I have ever experienced!

I found the ‘delightful’ Macdonald’s Manager on Grindr. He lived about 5kms away. We got chatting and we had a few things in common especially fanatical religious parents. His father was a Pastor and my father was equivalent to a Priest. We talked for about an hour on the phone and he seemed liked a genuine guy who enjoyed life.

We decided to go out for dinner and a movie at a local shopping centre. The only problem being that he didn’t have a car and used public transport. As the dashing handsome gentleman that I am I offered to pick him up from home (error of judgement #1).

As I drove down the street and saw my date on the side of the road, I queried why it was people put up different pictures to what they truly are. My date had a rather large beer belly and a shirt which did not leave anything to the imagination. His picture had obviously been taken prior to starting work at Maccas.

At that point I should have just cut my losses and offered my apologies that he wasn’t my type, instead I stopped and allowed him into the car (error of judgement #2).  Within 5 minutes the conversation took a turn for the worse. I was apparently using ‘big words’ that he didn’t understand and he said he was not ‘stupid’ but could I please stop using ‘big words’ that he could not understand as it was making him feel uncomfortable. Bless his little cotton socks! For me, any date potential was wiped clean and had gone into negative.

 We dined at a local Asian food place (not fancy) and proceeded to buy tickets to a movie. He continued to say how proud he was that he was a Macdonald’s manager, the training offered by Macdonald’s and the responsibilities of being a manager. Okay now call me a snob… as I am writing this post and reflecting on the date I feel uncomfortable the way I immediately judged him based on his lack of education. I should have been more positive that yes with the little education he did receive that he is making something with his life and was happy.

We sat at the back of the movie theatre (error of judgement #3). Let’s just say the movie sounded very B grade, however it was better than I expected but I had very low expectations. Throughout the movie he fondled my hand. I was giving the subtle signs of not reciprocating and shuffling around. I don’t think he had the insight to understand.

After the movie we were walking to the car through the car park. We were walking in front of a group of guys. It is important to note at this stage that we were in a lower socio-economic suburb (some may say Hicksville). What happened next further highlighted my date’s stupidity. He proceeded to slap my arse and give it a pinch! WTF. He laughed it off, meanwhile I was taking a very brisk walk to the car explaining to him the dangers of what he just did!

Now at this point I must say that I am definitely not one of these guys that like public displays of affection (‘PDAs’) – a slap on the arse was a definite no no in my books. Red carded and instant dismissal from the dating field.

So we got in my car (yes I had to drive him home). He clasped his hand around my thigh and proceeded to utter something to the effect that he really enjoyed the night and really thought we clicked and asked when he would see me again.  I would love to have a brief insight into the workings of his mind as to why he thought we clicked – it has me flummoxed to this day as to how he reached that conclusion.

I politely but firmly said that I was not going to see him again as he was not my type. He took a couple of seconds to swallow and process what I had just said. He clasped my thigh again and said those fateful words “why? What don’t you like about me?”

Why do people want to subject themselves to a list of things that another person doesn’t like about them? Now I could have spent 10 minutes or so telling him why he wasn’t my type. All I said was “let’s just leave it as you’re not my type.” Those 8 minutes driving him home were unpleasant. There was an icy silence throughout the journey I could hear him breathing shallowly with an ever so slight wheeze coming from his nose.

He hopped out of the car. He hadn’t given up on having some type of connection to me. He said that he was still open to mates if I was and to contact him.

Needless to say as soon as I got home I blocked him on Grindr and proceeded to add a note to my phone DO NOT ANSWER!

So I ask my blog readers… was I a snob?