The message read that he was going against all his natural
instincts but just wanted to let me know that he still loved me and that I was
a very special guy. My reply was direct and simply asked “what do your natural
instincts tell you?” – no reply was forthcoming…
Over the last six days I have been thinking less and less
about my fuck buddy. It was extremely hard that weekend not to pick up the
phone and tell my fuck buddy I was coming over. I felt isolated and melancholy.
I know it’s for the best, but I can’t help but feel saddened
that my fuck buddy didn’t try hard enough to win my affections again. But then
again – if he is a liar, has commitment and trust issues then winning my
affections would necessitate acknowledging what he did. It would also make it
harder for me to disconnect my emotions from him.
I made a commitment to myself to stop feeling sorry for
myself and get on the band wagon again…
On Sunday I got a message from a mid 20s tradie – he was
handsome – had a good body – I know Im easy on the eye but thought I had hit
the jackpot with him. More on this night later…
On Monday I arranged for a total of six dates in six days…
·
Tuesday night – a nice guy for a coffee date
·
Wednesday night – a spanish guy that had just
arrived in the city – just a mate :P
·
Thursday night – a married man (yes I will delve
into the ethical issues on this one)
·
Friday – a nice guy that lives in the next
suburb for drinks at mine
·
Saturday – A cute young guy for a coffee date
·
Sunday – Meet number 2 with the tradie…
So by Monday I hope to be shattered and have a few guys to
fuck around with to keep my mind off my fuck buddy. I will of course update my
blog with each entry – when I have time :P
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