Saturday 24 September 2011

Fuck buddy exposed and cornered

My fuck buddy messaged me yesterday – the first contact after the toilet flood incident. In the message he apologised for his actions that night. That he loved me and missed me. He wanted to see me that night to talk.

My reply was perfect – If you loved me he wouldn’t say he was committed and exclusive and then go behind my back and fuck around on a dating website. All I wanted was honesty – if he wanted to revert to just a fuck buddy arrangement then he just needed to say the word rather than toy with my emotions by continuing a lie.

His response was to be expected – he said he has always been faithful to me and has never slept with another guy since seeing me (I know of two occasions where he has previously said he has and then retracted the story). He wanted to know which “cock head” I had been talking to on the dating website as the guy was lying.

So I logged on to the dating website and messaged him by saying – I’ve been talking to this cockhead… don’t try denying it as it will make it ten times worse than it already is.

Again his response was on the attack – he said that he knew it was me. He also tried to point the blame to me by accusing me of being untrustworthy by creating a fake profile to try and catch him out. His final message was simply goodbye.

My reply was simply a return goodbye.

As you would be aware by reading all my posts about my fuck buddy – I had concerns and alarm bells which I ignored because the sex was fantastic and his cuddles was the BOMB! He was literally toying with my emotions and being manipulative. It felt like he had ‘won’ the challenge of making me fall in love with him – and he was ‘finished’ with trying to please me. He had withdrawn and disconnected – my suspicions had proved completely accurate.

He was verging on being a pathological liar – he was literally cornered but continued to maintain his innocence and then try and flip it on to me. I don’t believe in that bullshit and can see straight through it (albeit there was a faint tinge of rose colour)

Yes – I admit I will miss my time with my fuck buddy heaps and heaps. I will miss the cuddles watching movies, I will miss our dinners, I will miss the sex, I will miss the massages, I will miss seeing his smile 5 times a week, I will him his gorgeous body, I will miss the together time. I will again need to cope with my single time. My fuck buddy had proved to be a crutch and a distraction to me in relation to finding Mr Right.

I knew both consciously and subconsciously that a relationship with my fuck buddy was with Mr Wrong. I persisted. I must thank my fuck buddy for educating me about bad relationships. I have awareness and I value myself not to put up with bullshit and the mind games. I deserve a good catch – a nice guy who will treat me with respect.

My gaggle has helped me through these times by lending their ears to my continual stories about my fuck buddy. This blog has also helped me to reflect on what was happening rather than being in the moment and allowing my emotions to take hold. In reflection, I had some awesome times with my fuck buddy but these certainly didn’t make up for the mind games and the bad moments.

I would like to think that my fuck buddy is feeling regret for his actions. I personally don’t think that he ever will.

 In the right environment and with the right group of people my fuck buddy would make an awesome guy. I so wanted to help him realise that he was a great person and didn’t need to be a people pleaser which was destroying his sense of self-worth. In some respects I feel like I let him down – I could have been the person that dragged him up to the real world. But I realise rather than me dragging him up – he was dragging me down.

I think it is 50/50 whether he will contact me again to try and get me back. On one hand he loves the chase and the emotional high that he would feel when he gets the ‘rabbit.’ On the other hand he might think that this rabbit has bitten him and thus will not continue the chase… So I won’t conclude by saying I will never write about my fuck buddy again…

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